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charlesDave Barry on Choosing your University Majors
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Dave Barry was a humour columnist for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005... he won a Pulitzer Prize in 1988, which is quite extraordinary, considering that we was essentially a stand-up comedian on paper.
Barry wrote a short piece on choosing a University major, and he basically put a blanket 'No' on any science field.
" This means you must *not* major in mathematics, physics, biology, or chemistry, because these subjects involve actual facts. "
On Math:
On Chemistry:
What does big Dave want you to study? English, Philosophy, Psychology and Sociology!
On English:
On Philosophy:
"You should major in philosophy if you plan to take a lot of drugs."
On Sociology:
"I sat through hundreds of hours of sociology courses, and read gobs of sociology writing, and I never once heard or read a coherent statement. This is because sociologists want to be considered scientists, so they spend most of their time translating simple, obvious observations into scientific-sounding code."
Those all sound awful... if you follow Barry's advice, the only thing you really can study is Recreational Studies, which is pretty good, if you think about it...
Barry wrote a short piece on choosing a University major, and he basically put a blanket 'No' on any science field.
" This means you must *not* major in mathematics, physics, biology, or chemistry, because these subjects involve actual facts. "
"...you're going to wander into class one day and the professor will say: "Define the cosine integer of the quadrant of a rhomboid binary axis, and extrapolate your result to five significant vertices." If you don't come up with *exactly* the answer the professor has in mind, you fail."
On Chemistry:
"if you write in your exam book that carbon and hydrogen combine to form oak, your professor will flunk you. He wants you to come up with the same answer he and all the other chemists have agreed on. Scientists are extremely snotty about this."
What does big Dave want you to study? English, Philosophy, Psychology and Sociology!
On English:
"Anybody with any common sense would say that Moby-Dick is a big white whale, since the characters in the book refer to it as a big white whale roughly eleven thousand times. So in *your* paper, *you* say Moby-Dick is actually the Republic of Ireland."
On Philosophy:
"You should major in philosophy if you plan to take a lot of drugs."
"I sat through hundreds of hours of sociology courses, and read gobs of sociology writing, and I never once heard or read a coherent statement. This is because sociologists want to be considered scientists, so they spend most of their time translating simple, obvious observations into scientific-sounding code."
Those all sound awful... if you follow Barry's advice, the only thing you really can study is Recreational Studies, which is pretty good, if you think about it...
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